United Federation of Planets Intervenes
Washington - April 9, 2003: Two starships are in stationary orbit over Washington and Baghdad; Federation troops have seized control of key military installations around the world using “matter transporters”; All U. S. wapons systems and arms have been “neutralized”; Federation spokesperson: “There was evidence that [the U.S.] might be stockpiling weapons of mass destruction.”
Troops acting on authority from the United Federation of Planets landed in Washington at noon today, and a General Order by the Federation Security Council has been issued to all nations of the planet Earth to halt all military aggression.
All U.S. military activity has ground to a halt, and military personnel world-wide are struggling to understand why their weapons systems won’t operate, and their systems controls and personal arms are too hot to touch.
“I was on the [weapons firing] range at noon when I hear this loud hum sound,” said Lance Corporal Irwin Pheatter of Bayonne, NJ. “I see a kind of low orange glow, and my [M-16 carbine] gets too hot to hold onto. I had to drop it on the ground, I got burns on my hand.”
Columns of tanks and armored vehicles in Iraq, and Kuwait ground to a halt in a long line stretching from Basra to Baghdad.
Reports from Israel to Russia, from the Korean Peninsula to the Philippines, from across the North American and South American continents seemed to confirm: the Earth’s armies are powerless.
One hour after military weapons systems were neutralized, an announcement was made from the United Federation’s Forward Command in the former Washington, D.C. City Library.
“We mean no harm to the people of Earth,” it stated, “but your continued use of military aggression threatens our interests in this region. You have continued to use weapons of mass destruction on your own species. By Order of the United Federation of Planets Security Council, all military activity on the planet Earth will cease immediately.”
In an Open Letter
to the U.S. president from the Federation’s Organian Plenipotentiary, the Security Council described the potential harm that further military aggression on Earth would do to Federation interests in the region.
U.S. asserts its rights over Earth
Governments world-wide condemned the order and the use of preemptive force, first among them the United States.
“This is an arrogant use of power. We have the right to our war,” said Secretary of State Colin Powell.
“Our fighters cannot fly,” said Major Lem Kelman of the Israeli Army. Our tanks are frozen in their tracks. We cannot carry our weapons. Children are mocking us, but if they take up a rock or a piece of garbage, bent on throwing it, it burns their hands and they drop it. So we are safe.”
360 U.S. bombs dropped on Iraq Tuesday night, yet all failed to detonate and bounced harmlessly off of their targets. Aircraft returning from missions found they could not take off again.
“It’s going to give us a big headache until we regroup and figure this thing out,” said Brig. General John Whitehead, U.S. Army Strategic Command Center, in Kuwait City. “We can’t really do anything for a while.”